“Yes, yes, that’s all well and good but what about being a purveyor of fine jerky”, I hear you say.


Well it’s this simple.


Raygun was so prolific at dispatching aliens that it was starting to be a problem. Dead aliens were piling up all over the galaxy and scrap yards where springing up all over the place. Some entrepreneurs even set up alien pic-a-part businesses, and people started to complain about the green glow on the horizon.


Raygun, now a fully fledged doctor, realised that there was a simple solution to the problem.


By turning the “Stun” knob on the Duo Gas Pistol the other way, he could shrink the opponent. This turned them into hard-to-swallow small crackling lumps. But great to chew.


A Lightwave went of in the Docs head. This could be the ideal snack for the intergalactic traveler. Dried, crunchy and slightly salty and a radio-active afterburn. He could even offer them in different flavours. Chargrilled, Double stiff or Radio active under the name of Alien Jerky from Eaglestone's Confectionary.


This became so successful that for many years we have been enjoying Alien Scratchings under a number of different names suggested by a marketing company to make them more palletable to the average tastebud.


So the next time you are tucking into a packet of something called Pork Scratchings, Texas Jerky or Biltong just read the ingredients. All those “e” numbers stand for “extra-testical”. No kidding! You heard it here first.